This is a difficult post to write. I'm not even sure how to write it. Some time has passed since the incidents occurred, but if I look back at it, I still feel sad and disappointed. A few years back I went through a very tough time in my life. One where poor decisions followed by some of the most difficult decisions in my life were made. It was so bad that I was on the brink of suicide. It was that bad. I don't like to share much and talk about things happening to me unless you're very close to me. Even to this day, I can only cry to a small number of people. I own up to my mistakes, to my decisions made then. There are so many what ifs in life. I look back and often think what if I did this, instead of that? Or what if I never left. So many questions. But if you let those things overwhelm you, life would NEVER get better. You would think that now, years on, there wouldn't be any more issues. That whatever happened then is in the pasted. It seems to not be so for some people. While I continue to pray for those involved and ask that God be in their life and be their beacon of hope, it is also up to them to overcome their own inner demons. Back then I may have taken a step back, thinking it was my fault. I did whatever to deserve this. I don't want to cause more trouble. But no more. I am SO sick of looking out for someone who may be so Christianly on the outside, but filled with so much hate on the inside. God taught us to forgive those who've hurt you, to love those around you. If you can't even do this, how can you call yourself a christian? It is not enough to just come to church and read the bible. But to follow and act on the words you are taught. So many of us lose out on the meaning of being a christian. Sure you go to church and you're involved. But if in everyday life, you curse and hate on your neighbors and do no acts of good will, then how are you better than those that go through life helping others and being kind to everyone around them? From this day forward, I no longer care that there is anyone that may hate me or dislike me for something I may or may not have done. If I did something to hurt you, I apologize. Moving forward, I will work towards being more involved at church, and being the Christian that God intended for us to be. You not liking me is not going to prevent my from trying to be a friend to you.
"LOVE your neighbour as yourself. No other commandment is greater than these." Mark 12:31
Showing posts with label christianity. Show all posts
This May Offend Some People, But...
James 1:19-27
Sometimes, it doesn't take much to find inspiration. This just has to be shared. Whether you're religious or not, please understand this is just something that is part of my life. I'm not going to lie when I say I haven't been to church in a while. Although for the past little bit, I have been busy with my weekend job, it really wasn't justifiable to miss as much as I had. I am glad to that this past weekend, even with my take down the previous night, Drew knew to see if I was still at home just before he left the house. It was my fastest waking in the morning. From rising to out the door was probably less than 3 minutes! No Joke!
For some reason, this Sunday service felt different for me. It was my re-connection with God and I really wanted to show my sincerity. Who cared who else was there or what was going on with others. It was my time with God who has given me so many opportunities and LOVE along the way. It was the first time I really sat through the sermon and listened intently without falling asleep, or getting sidetracked or not taking it to heart. And it really spoke to me! I felt like it was meant for me and me alone!
The sermon focused on James 1:19 - 26 which focuses on Listening and Doing. The main points were to Listen to God's Words, then Practice God's Words followed by Living God's Words. These words were especially meaningful to me because it was the exact opposite of what I've been doing for the past while. While the pastor tells us to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger, I have been doing the perfect opposite. I have been jumping to conclusions and getting angry at the smallest and meaningless things without really listening to others. I couldn't believe how much I really needed to hear that from someone else. It made me truly think about what I am doing with my life.
At the end of service when we were given our moment of prayer. I really stopped and prayed. I told God of my insignificance to his greater plan and that everything I've been blessed with to date was his to take and give. I praised Him for all he gave me and the days we're given. It was truly a moment with God. It's also amazing to see how quickly he answers prayers. After service, I ran into an auntie who was looking for me and told me about a job opportunity at, none other than, Nordstrom. While I still don't know whether I'm fully getting this job until I actually start working, which would be December, after my trip, but I know that if God wants me here, no one will be able to take it away.
I just want to share this passage before I end off.
James 1:19-27
26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. 27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
