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This May Offend Some People, But...

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This is a difficult post to write. I'm not even sure how to write it. Some time has passed since the incidents occurred, but if I look back at it, I still feel sad and disappointed. A few years back I went through a very tough time in my life. One where poor decisions followed by some of the most difficult decisions in my life were made. It was so bad that I was on the brink of suicide. It was that bad. I don't like to share much and talk about things happening to me unless you're very close to me. Even to this day, I can only cry to a small number of people. I own up to my mistakes, to my decisions made then. There are so many what ifs in life. I look back and often think what if I did this, instead of that? Or what if I never left. So many questions. But if you let those things overwhelm you, life would NEVER get better. You would think that now, years on, there wouldn't be any more issues. That whatever happened then is in the pasted. It seems to not be so for some people. While I continue to pray for those involved and ask that God be in their life and be their beacon of hope, it is also up to them to overcome their own inner demons. Back then I may have taken a step back, thinking it was my fault. I did whatever to deserve this. I don't want to cause more trouble. But no more. I am SO sick of looking out for someone who may be so Christianly on the outside, but filled with so much hate on the inside. God taught us to forgive those who've hurt you, to love those around you. If you can't even do this, how can you call yourself a christian? It is not enough to just come to church and read the bible. But to follow and act on the words you are taught. So many of us lose out on the meaning of being a christian. Sure you go to church and you're involved. But if in everyday life, you curse and hate on your neighbors and do no acts of good will, then how are you better than those that go through life helping others and being kind to everyone around them? From this day forward, I no longer care that there is anyone that may hate me or dislike me for something I may or may not have done. If I did something to hurt you, I apologize. Moving forward, I will work towards being more involved at church, and being the Christian that God intended for us to be. You not liking me is not going to prevent my from trying to be a friend to you. 
"LOVE your neighbour as yourself. No other commandment is greater than these." Mark 12:31

James 1:19-27

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Sometimes, it doesn't take much to find inspiration. This just has to be shared. Whether you're religious or not, please understand this is just something that is part of my life. I'm not going to lie when I say I haven't been to church in a while. Although for the past little bit, I have been busy with my weekend job, it really wasn't justifiable to miss as much as I had. I am glad to that this past weekend, even with my take down the previous night, Drew knew to see if I was still at home just before he left the house. It was my fastest waking in the morning. From rising to out the door was probably less than 3 minutes! No Joke! 

 For some reason, this Sunday service felt different for me. It was my re-connection with God and I really wanted to show my sincerity. Who cared who else was there or what was going on with others. It was my time with God who has given me so many opportunities and LOVE along the way. It was the first time I really sat through the sermon and listened intently without falling asleep, or getting sidetracked or not taking it to heart. And it really spoke to me! I felt like it was meant for me and me alone!

 The sermon focused on James 1:19 - 26 which focuses on Listening and Doing. The main points were to Listen to God's Words, then Practice God's Words followed by Living God's Words. These words were especially meaningful to me because it was the exact opposite of what I've been doing for the past while. While the pastor tells us to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger, I have been doing the perfect opposite. I have been jumping to conclusions and getting angry at the smallest and meaningless things without really listening to others. I couldn't believe how much I really needed to hear that from someone else. It made me truly think about what I am doing with my life. 

 At the end of service when we were given our moment of prayer. I really stopped and prayed. I told God of my insignificance to his greater plan and that everything I've been blessed with to date was his to take and give. I praised Him for all he gave me and the days we're given. It was truly a moment with God. It's also amazing to see how quickly he answers prayers. After service, I ran into an auntie who was looking for me and told me about a job opportunity at, none other than, Nordstrom. While I still don't know whether I'm fully getting this job until I actually start working, which would be December, after my trip, but I know that if God wants me here, no one will be able to take it away. 

 I just want to share this passage before I end off. 

James 1:19-27

19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25 But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.
26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. 27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Start to the New Year

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A little late start to the new year, but its here!! 2015! Happy New Year!


The start of the new year has been a good one. I've been fortunate so far. I spent the first day of the new year with friends on the slopes for the first snowboarding trip of the season. The snow wasn't so bad, and by the time we went. There was already significantly less people on the runs, although there was still a considerable amount.

I was also selected for Elle's Beauty Grand Prix! I'm so excited for that. I didn't think I would make it as a juror this time around because they'd selected people in the first round in December. Who in their right minds would sign up for it but not accept it? Anyways, their lose is my gain! I look forward to sharing my experience.

With the new year comes some hard to keep resolutions. And I hardly keep them at all. This year , I want to make slightly more achievable goals.

1. I want to be active this spring/summer hiking as many trails as possible.
2. I want to clear out the clutter I have in my room and washroom and hallway before the end of the year, whether it is achieved through donations or selling it on.
3. Open myself up to as many experiences as I can.
4. Be more patient with those closest to me.
5. Work hard at everything I attempt.

I'll look back in half a year and see where I am with these. Has anyone else made some resolutions?

Reflections

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Can't believe it's the last day of the 2014. This past year has been a huge roller coaster to say the least.
This year was a year of travels. A year of trying new things. A year of heart breaks and finding love. A year of gain and lost.
I was privileged to have been able to return to Taiwan in January and see my grandma one last time. Even though seeing her in her fragile state brought tears to my eyes, I knew she's had a fulfilling life.
I then went through a breakup that tore my life apart. But it opened up opportunities and let me learn lessons about myself. I learned to not waste the time I have and created a bucketlist. I planned for a future I was uncertain of.
In the span of a few months i found and lost someone that was very dear to me. Words cannot express how sad I am that he is no longer in my life. In the short time that our romance existed we did so much. We travelled to las Vegas and shared some firsts.  But things didn't work out. The time together would never be forgotten though.
I left my job. Finally.
I took off on a solo trip to Japan and Korea in the middle of hard times. It was both good and bad. I had always wanted to travel by myself and this was the perfect time. During the trip I had to overcome language barriers and not knowing anyone in the native countries. I challenged myself to climb mt Fuji in Japan and bukhansan in Korea. I walked nearly 400 km in the three weeks abroad. I learned to adapt to other cultures and being by myself. I made friends that made the trip that much more special.
I then started a new job that came at the best time.
I went back east to Ontario twice to attend friend's weddings and catch up with friends I haven't seen in ages. It was also during this time that I lost my grandmother.  Words couldn't express how lonely I felt when my dad broke the news to me over the phone.
I grew a fondness for climbing and climbed the chief and grouse grind.
I started taking classes to move closer forward my goal of being a wedding planner. 
And most of all I gave love another chance.
In the new year. I look forward to more travels and my new found passion, hiking,  and less drama. I hope to try harder and be happier. What do you look back on? What do you look forward to?

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